So many of us have been severely hurt and traumatized mentally and emotionally in our past by our parents, siblings, relatives, classmates, old friends and ex-lovers. Many of us have failed to take the time out to get the proper care we need in order to heal so we can move forward properly; giving others the love they require and in turn receiving the love we truly desire. Instead we purchased cases of bandages and numbing cream to place over our wounds that temporarily control the pain when we should have gone to the doctor for more effective treatment.
While there are many moments where we don’t feel anything from our past because our minds aren’t focused on the pain, we are damaging others with our broken pieces; loving others how we wish to love them, guarding our own hearts instead of learning to understand them and loving them how they wish to be loved.
We’ve been so badly hurt to the extent we require others, especially those we are interested in dating and being in a relationship with to be perfect at “hello” and to remain perfect throughout the course of the relationship; while we are still incomplete and bleeding inside from the damage our parents, siblings, relatives, classmates, old friends, ex-lovers and even our own selves has caused us. Because of the trauma we carry with us from day to day and our own inability to seek healing, express forgiveness and to set ourselves free from our past, there is no room for error for the person we choose to be involved with, but we require them to accept our broken parts, the ones we have hidden no matter what. That is when they slowly begin to bleed out because we are only loving them how we wish to love them (neglecting their needs) to prevent us from re-opening our wounds; when we should remove the bandage and allow our wounds to heal properly so that we can better understand and love our person of interest the way they wish to be loved and in turn they love us how we wish to be loved.
I wore many bandages and applied large amounts of numbing cream on my wounds over the years until I found out how my unhealed trauma had caused others to bleed out by loving them only how I wanted to love them. I have been damaged severely from the unhealed wounds of others and I have yet to be loved the way I needed to be loved, but only loved how others wanted to love me. I apologize to everyone whom I’ve cut deeply with my razor sharp edges as a result of not being properly healed. I forgive everyone who has brought me pain and love them for allowing me to experience what I had experienced because those moments of darkness where I almost felt defeated has led me to become the beautiful man I am today. A vessel for others.
I am proud of myself for being brave and courageous enough to uncover my wounds and allowing them to heal properly so that I can love and receive love properly. I am proud of myself for being in the space of giving my full self without requiring others to be error free, and allowing them to make mistakes and forgiving them when they do. I am proud of myself for fully accepting others for who they are even if they do not fully accept me and my challenges. I am proud of myself for no longer being in the space of making others pay for the trauma I have experienced in my childhood, adolescence and young adult life. I am proud of being a changed and healing man, one that many have grown to love over the years. I am proud that I love freely and openly and that I give others the opportunity to receive my love.
To my family, relatives, friends and supporters, it’s human nature for us to get hurt, make poor decisions and mistakes even if we get hurt and make the same mistakes over and over again until we get it right. Accept who you are and what you have experienced. Uncover your wounds and allow time and love inside to heal them. Let go of fear and worry fully and express your forgiveness to those who have brought you pain as you would want the creator and the universe to forgive you. Apologize with your words and actions to those who have to wear bandages as a result of the internal hemorrhaging you caused, even if they aren’t receptive to it. For those who are, ask them to forgive you. Love them if they still matter to you. Open yourself up to constantly receive love as love is the cure.
Cheers to being human, cheers to being mature adults and doing the necessary work to make your lives better than it was yesterday. We are all spiritual beings living a human experience. We are all in this together.
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