Warning: Read At Your Own Risk!
I started off the year saying “2022 is the year of Self-Awareness, Healing, Risking Taking, Growth and Sexy.
Self-Awareness is extremely uncomfortable because it requires Self-Accountability which is difficult for many people to do, especially women because self-accountability requires one to remove the filter from their lenses and see themselves for who they truly are and how their behavior affects others. Those who are self-aware and who are fully accountable for their actions are the most attractive beings. Those who are Completely Naked with themselves.
Since publishing my 2nd book Cultivating Minds To Own Thyself, I have gone on an in-depth journey of finding my true self and holding myself accountable for my actions. I have trained my mind to remove the fantasy and to see and accept life for what it truly is. I often cry because of what I am forced to experience and knowing that I don’t have the power to undo the trauma I am forced to live with. One by one I have been eliminating the negative influences from my life, some of which involved people who I loved dearly and this year I will be removing more for my peace and sanity.
Recently, I wrote and released my 4th Book Completely Naked which allowed me to see myself and others inside out. My friends, my family, my colleagues, almost anyone. After having two private listening parties at Silverspot Cinema before its release date and after the official book launch at the Cleveland Marriott East Hotel, I’ve felt the loneliest and the most frustrated I have ever felt in life, because I was Completely Naked while others weren’t. They were in costume, in hiding. I saw them, but they couldn’t see me looking. I was self-aware, I was self-accountable and those closest to me were afraid to get naked with me and it frustrated me. Still frustrates me.
As I mentioned before, “Self-Awareness is extremely uncomfortable because it requires Self-Accountability which is difficult for many people to do, especially women because self-accountability requires one to remove the filter from their lenses and see themselves for who they truly are and how their behavior affects others.”
What I am about to say is not an attack on anyone and I apologize if it comes off as offensive which is not my intent. Self-Awareness is extremely uncomfortable.
With the filter removed from my lenses and the fantasy stripped from my mind, I realized I feel the loneliest and the most frustrated because I held every man in my life accountable for their actions and not the women. I held myself accountable, my absent father, male doctors, athletes, basketball coaches, government officials, Law men, politicians, media personalities, church leaders and many others.
I held them all accountable because all my life all I heard was women complain, talk badly about, yell, curse out, use and kick out men; my great-grandmother, my grandmother, her sisters, my mother, aunt, cousins, colleagues and so forth. Even if he was operating in his natural role as a man. To date, I still witness it and it makes me sick. It was the release of Completely Naked that helped me become even more self and socially aware.
I heard how bad black men are and saw them get cursed and thrown out so much by these women that I had learned to hate myself. I hated boys and men who looked like me. I fought and disrespected them because I was taught too by these women. I heard the hatred and belittling of black men so much that I couldn’t respect nor trust the very men who made this world what it is today, who were trying to assist me with growing into a mature, successful and responsible man all because of the terrible things I heard these women do and say to these men.
I witnessed these same women bring random men into the house introducing them as their friend, my uncle and so forth, and kick them out of the house when something didn’t go their way. I saw these same women cheat on and belittle worthy men, then got upset and harmed them with weapons when they turned around and cheated on them. I saw them kick men when they were down, even after they had provided for and protected their family. I witnessed these women take their children away from their fathers. Those who are damn good fathers. I witnessed these women use men for utilities and for what they can do for them material wise.
This terrible conditioning of my mind made me take sides with these same women, who I love dearly, who claimed they love me but showed me otherwise they didn’t. These women made me feel like I would never be good enough for a woman no matter how good I am, how great I become. I suck at relationships because of them, and have had failed ones because of them. I can’t lead women who once were willing followers, because these women and women like them made them questionable followers.
I’ve witnessed these women program their daughters to use and treat men like garbage and program their sons to provide for women like them.
This terrible conditioning of my mind once paralyzed me as a boy, afraid to speak out about how these women made me feel. I am self-aware now and no longer afraid to speak up. This terrible conditioning is currently traumatizing the next generation of our boys and paralyzing the voice of those who are soon to become men, who will then grow to hate their fathers and other men who look like them and who help make the world what it is. They will grow to be mistreated by women no matter how great they become.
To my young brothers and sisters who may have experienced what I have experienced and currently experience, black men aren’t the negative and disgusting things the women in your family and those who aren’t in your family say about us and we should not be treated as such. Systems were put in place by people who do not look like us to get the black men out of the house and many of our women and men have fallen into the trap. There is an agenda to destroy the black family and in order to do so, you have to destroy the black man and what better way to do that than to turn black women against the same men who created civilization and reverse their natural roles.
As mentioned in chapter three of Completely Naked, we are broken into new roles that we think are normal and they are far from normal. Black men are important and valuable. We need each other for we are better together than alone because that’s how we were created to be. However, there are many who still think otherwise because of their lack of self and social awareness.
INDEPENDENCY IS A CURSE, IT’S UNNATURAL.
SELF-AWARENESS IS EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE BUT ITS SEXY!
I love myself for who I am inside and out even the uncomfortable parts. I forgive myself. I love my brothers deeply after being granted the opportunity to hear their side of the story after presenting mine. I forgive my brothers. I love and forgive the women too and believe they can turn it around with self-awareness, self-accountability, learning how these systems were put in place to destroy black families and communities and by learning to love black boys and men for who we truly are.
CLEVELAND AUTHOR JAMEEL DAVIS